Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Spotted on Threads:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Trending via WeChat:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Trending via X:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Going viral on WeChat:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Funny ass quotes

Funny ass quotes are the perfect way to add some 😂 spice and sass to your day! Whether you need a quick laugh or a witty comeback, these hilarious gems will have you snorting with laughter 🤣 and sharing the fun with friends. Get ready to unleash your inner comedian and brighten up any conversation with a dash of cheeky humor 🍑🔥!

New funny ass quotes 👇

All funny ass quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Discord this month:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

46 shares on X this month:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

78 shares on TikTok this month:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,725

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Just landed via Reddit:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Trending via X:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Making waves on YouTube:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Trending via Pinterest:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

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