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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2433 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,595

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,595

12 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Live now on Slack:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Trending via Instagram:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Going viral on Slack:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Seen just now on X:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Spotted on Reddit:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Just landed via Reddit:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Home » Funny Attitude Quotes » Page 11

145 Funny attitude quotes

More funny attitude quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Commentary:
"When you tell your cat a secret and they silently judge you instead of offering advice. 🐱🙀💬"
3 months ago
Share →: Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Commentary:
"Some people are just tirelessly dedicated to their craft! 🤦‍♂️🙄 #FullTimeAsshole"
3 months ago
Share →: Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Commentary:
"When your hair decides it's having a rebellious day, and you realize it's won the argument yet again! 💇‍♀️😤🤦‍♀️"
3 months ago
Share →: Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Commentary:
"LOL, around here, our WiFi password is 'Faith4Life'! 📶🙏🤣"
3 months ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Commentary:
When punctuality takes a backseat to personal flair 🚦😎—because who needs a schedule when you’ve got style? 😂⏰ #LateAndLovingIt
3 months ago
Share →: Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Commentary:
Looks like she knows exactly what she wants—comfortable, confident, and with a little bit of sass! 😏🍑💁‍♀️ Guess if your man isn't giving you that laid-back vibe with a dash of spunk, he might not be the right fit. After all, a thong's got to stay snug and show some personality! 😂✨
4 months ago
Share →: I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a thermostat when you have haters to let you know you're on fire? 🔥😄 #HotterThanHaters #BurninUp"
4 months ago
Share →: All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Commentary:
"Who needs a budget when you have a heart full of courage and a wallet full of receipts? 💸💪 Live life on the wild side… of spending! 😂"
4 months ago
Share →: Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Commentary:
"Can you even imagine being this cool and collected? 😎 One hand casually in the pocket, doling out high fives like it's no big deal 🖐️. Talk about handling haters with finesse! 🤣 #TooChillForDrama"
4 months ago
Share →: When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Commentary:
🚶‍♂️💨 "When you're late for work, just remember: walk in like you own the place and blame it on traffic with a poker face. Bonus points if you throw in some dramatic sighs and eye rolls for added effect! Who said being fashionably late couldn't be a comedy show in itself? 😂 #LateButFabulous"

For even more funny attitude quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2433 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,595

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,595

12 minutes ago

3,457

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Reported on Snapchat:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Just shared via Discord:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Just shared via Messenger:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Going viral on Facebook:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

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