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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,631

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Trending via YouTube:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Spotted on Messenger:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Breaking via Reddit:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Shared recently on Slack:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Funny canceled quotes

Funny canceled quotes bring a hilarious twist to moments when plans or ideas get the boot 🚫😂. Whether it’s a last-minute change or a plot twist nobody saw coming, these witty lines turn disappointment into pure comedy gold 🎭💬. Ready to laugh off those cancellations like a pro? Let’s dive into the funniest ways people cope when things just don’t go as planned! 🤣✨

New funny canceled quotes 👇

All funny canceled quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

90 shares on Threads this month:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

10 shares on X this month:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Trending via Messenger:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Making waves on Telegram:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Live now on Pinterest:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Making waves on Snapchat:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Making waves on TikTok:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Just landed via WeChat:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

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