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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Just landed via WeChat:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Live now on Discord:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I am thick and tired.

Shared recently on Slack:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Going viral on Threads:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Just shared via TikTok:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Shared recently on X:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Spotted on Twitch:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Just landed via TikTok:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Just shared via Instagram:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed and the other half don’t know how to do math.

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