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39 Funny context quotes

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  • I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

    Commentary:
    🏡💭😂 Oh, the eternal question – are we really ever at home, or are we just floating through this crazy thing called life? Maybe we’re just wandering through the vast expanse of our own minds, never truly grounded in one place. So next time someone asks you if you’re at home, just tell them you’re in a state of existential limbo!

  • When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

    Commentary:
    Oh, absolutely! Surely scrolling through memes and binge-watching shows at home doesn’t count! 🙈👩‍💻 Who knew “work” screen time was the real enemy here? 💼⏰ Time to put in those hours of relaxation with some quality screen time therapy! 📺🍿 #ScreenTimeRules

  • I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

    Commentary:
    Well, that’s like reading the last page of a book first! 📚🍿 Starting off with sex without the backstory is like showing up to a party fashionably late but missing all the juicy gossip! 😆 #JustGiveUsThePlotTwist

  • “I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

    Commentary:
    Well, if you’re playing devil‘s advocate, you might as well ask for a raise in hell while you’re at it! We wouldn’t want the devil feeling left out of the fun now, would we?

  • Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic tale of gravity and friendship – it’s like being unfollowed by the laws of physics! Maybe next time gravity wants to break up, it should consider sending a tweet instead.”

  • To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

    Commentary:
    “🤔 Maybe they’re just trying to create a unique form of ‘cooling off’ for their fans! 😂💨 Who needs AC when you’ve got OnlyFans, right?”

  • Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

    Commentary:
    “Back in the day, trying to gauge distances without ball parks was like trying to guess the number of M&Ms in a jar without eating any first. 🤷‍♂️⚾️ #EstimationFail”

  • Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

    Commentary:
    “No apologies needed! Alcohol just helped me unleash my inner Shakespearean poet 🍷✨ Can’t guarantee the accuracy, but the passion was real! 😂 #DrunkPoetSociety”

  • To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

    Commentary:
    “Let’s be real, if you’re gonna set something on fire, might as well make sure it’s contained in a dumpster, right? 🗑️🔥 Safety first, folks! 😂”

  • What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

    Commentary:
    “Ah, yes, the ultimate tease from our subconscious – giving us the tantalizing buildup in a sex dream, only to rudely awaken us right before the main event! 😏 It’s like a non-consensual cliffhanger from the dream world – talk about a plot twist! 😂 Sweet dreams or blue-balled nightmares? You decide! 🌙✨”

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