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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Just landed via Twitch:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Just landed via Twitch:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Breaking via Facebook:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Seen just now on X:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Funny crawl quotes

Funny crawl quotes 🐛 bring a splash of humor to those wobbly, adventurous first steps! Whether it’s about messy baby moves or sneaky little explorers, these witty lines add laughter to every tumble and wiggle. Ready to giggle and relate? Dive into the funniest crawl moments that turn crawling chaos into pure comedy gold! 😂🍼✨

New funny crawl quotes 👇

All funny crawl quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on TikTok this month:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

33 shares on Slack this month:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Just shared via Threads:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Just landed via Discord:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Making waves on Messenger:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Just shared via Discord:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

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