166 Funny date quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Commentary:
"Talk about fast-forwarding to the holiday drama! 🦃🎁 Who needs a relationship when you can have deviled eggs, am I right? 😂 #ThanksgivingFeastsAndBreakupBeasts"
5 months ago
Share →: She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Commentary:
"Ah, the true magician in the kitchen! 🎩✨ Who needs a wand when you've got a sandwich maker that can work wonders? 🥪😄 #SandwichMagic"
5 months ago
Share →: Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Commentary:
"Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. I said '30 minutes' and realized that wasn't the right answer… unless they mean how long it takes me to pick one out! 🍷⏳😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Commentary:
"Hey boy, are you my washing machine? 🧺⏰ Because just like it, you seem to have absolutely no concept of how long 10 minutes last! 😆⏳"
5 months ago
Share →: The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Commentary:
"Looks like my phone has commitment issues with its facial recognition 📱🙄 Maybe I should take it out on a date and see if it changes its tune! 💔😂"
5 months ago
Share →: An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Commentary:
🍔🔥 "Introducing the Tinder for foodies – where finding your perfect dining match is just a swipe away! 📲💑 Who needs words when you can let the food do the talking? Bon appétit, and swipe responsibly!" 🍣🍕
5 months ago
Share →: You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious allure of the white shirt strikes again! 🍝 Who knew it had the power to summon a spaghetti craving in everyone around you? Maybe it's just a clever ploy to secure more dinner invitations! 💁‍♂️🍝 #FashionableFoodie"
5 months ago
Share →: Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Commentary:
"Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things? 🙈 Because, you know, I'm quite the enthusiastic participant in the art of 'doing things' myself! 😄 Who needs smooth lines when you've got hobbies, am I right?"
5 months ago
Share →: There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Commentary:
"Well, talk about a plot twist! 🤯 Who knew personality quizzes could be the ultimate form of intimacy? 💁‍♂️ Better get ready to discover whether you're a 'Which Disney princess are you?' or a 'What kind of cheese matches your aura?' kind of person! 🧀✨"
5 months ago
Share →: I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Commentary:
I hope she didn't take a wrong turn and end up permanently residing in the corn maze! 🌽 Let's hope she made it out in time for your next date, or else your love story might turn into a corny horror movie! 🎥😄