491 Funny dating quotes

• Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

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  2 months ago

  activity, bite, change, changing, date, dating, eating, every, food, humor, just, me, minutes, restaurant, social, speed, speed date, table, trying

• I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

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  2 months ago

  advice, date, dating, dating advice, first date, house, humor, i, pay, payment, person, relationship, should, think

• Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

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  2 months ago

  activity, after, carry, dating, fish, guys, holding, humor, just, marriage, over, picture, pictures, profile, profile picture, relationship, threshold

• I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

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  2 months ago

  dating, ghosted, humor, investigator, paranormal, relationships, resume

• Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

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  2 months ago

  apps, charged, consider, dating, even, falling, friendship, humor, i, least, love, me, need, never, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension, weird, work

• Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

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  2 months ago

  advice, ask, cues, date, dating, dating advice, declarative, declarative statements, feel, fellas, humor, interrogation, lady, never, questions, social, social cues, statements, strong, sure

• How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

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  2 months ago

  attraction, attractive, attractive person, boldness, dating, flirt, hope, humor, i, interaction, me, person, social, social interaction, times

• I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

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  2 months ago

  apocalypse, climate, date, dating, humor, i, readiness, ready, relationships, sad, sadness, used

• Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

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  2 months ago

  always, attractive, barbecue, cooking, dating, food, forget, humor, pheromones, scent, smells

• I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

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  2 months ago

  connection, crazy, crazy person, dating, humor, just, looking, love, me, normal, person, relationship, self-perception

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