148 funny decision quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

May 18, 2026

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Apr 1, 2026

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Apr 1, 2026

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Apr 1, 2026

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Apr 1, 2026

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Apr 1, 2026

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Apr 1, 2026

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Apr 1, 2026

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Apr 1, 2026

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Apr 1, 2026

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Mar 31, 2026

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Mar 31, 2026

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Mar 31, 2026

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Mar 31, 2026

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Mar 31, 2026

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Mar 31, 2026

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Mar 31, 2026

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Mar 30, 2026

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Mar 30, 2026

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Mar 30, 2026

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Mar 30, 2026

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Mar 30, 2026

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Mar 30, 2026

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Mar 30, 2026

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Mar 30, 2026

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Mar 30, 2026

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Mar 30, 2026

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Mar 30, 2026

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Mar 30, 2026

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Mar 30, 2026

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Mar 30, 2026

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Mar 30, 2026

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Mar 30, 2026

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Mar 30, 2026

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Mar 30, 2026

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Mar 30, 2026

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Mar 30, 2026

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Mar 30, 2026

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Mar 29, 2026

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Mar 29, 2026