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17 Funny enemy quotes

New funny enemy quotes 👇

  • I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a girlfriend when you can have an arch-nemesis instead? 😂💔 Watch out, we’ve got a superhero in the making!”

  • Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs revenge when you can just outshine them with those killer muscles? 💪😏 Exercise: the ultimate enemy-destroying weapon with a side of endorphins! 🏋️‍♂️🔥 #SweatinNotStressin”

  • Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the good ol’ days when TP and eggs were the ultimate weapons of mischief! 🧻🥚 Nothing says “I dislike you, but also appreciate good hygiene” quite like a midnight egg toss. 🌙💥 Just imagine the chaos and the not-so-subtle message it sends to your foes! 🔥😂

  • Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

    Commentary:
    “☕ Coffee is so last season, I’m ready to power up with the blood of my enemies today! 💪💀 Who needs caffeine when you’ve got revenge coursing through your veins? 😂🔥 #MondayMotivation”

  • When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like the devil decided to outsource his evil schemes to your own brain – talk about cutting out the middleman! 🧠😈 Don’t worry, even Hell wouldn’t want to deal with that level of sass and wit for long! 🔥😂”

  • Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, staying alive longer than your enemies is the ultimate power move! 💪🏼😄 Just keep on thriving, let karma do its work, and make some popcorn to watch the show! 🍿😏 #OutliveThemAll”

  • Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs enemies when you’re already surrounded by negativity? 🤷‍♂️ Time to trade in those toxic relationships for some good vibes and self-care! 🌟 #BeYourOwnBestFriend”

  • Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

    Commentary:
    “Watch out, folks! The speed demon has spoken! Enemies at every pace 🚶‍♂️⚔️ At this rate, the only safe path is to moonwalk on the sidewalk 🌟🕺 #EnemyEverywhere #NeedForSpeed”

  • It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

    Commentary:
    “Ah yes, the mornings, when one must prepare for battle against the elusive snooze button and the treacherous morning grump 😂☕️⚔️ Rise and shine, a warrior never sleeps in! 💪🌞”

  • There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the age-old tradition of spreading malice instead of love! 💔😈 Who needs roses and chocolates when you can broadcast your carefully curated shots of side-eye and eye rolls? 📸😜 Just make sure to use the right filter to really capture that “frenemy drama” essence! #AntiValentinesDay #InstagramWarfare

For even more funny enemy quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny enemy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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