Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate long-term relationship goal: professional annoyance specialist 😂❤️
370 Funny ever quotes
If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.
Commentary:
Trying the classic "turn it off and on again" even in life-or-death scenarios! 😂🔌✨
Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.
Commentary:
Guess I'll start practicing my on-the-spot treadmill skills for ghost season! 👻🏃♂️😂
Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?
Commentary:
Oh, the heartbreak of waiting for the 'Ring of Shame' to end—my phone just loves holding me hostage! 📞😂📵
Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?
Commentary:
Looks like coffee machines and babies both come with their own set of sleepless nights and surprises! ☕👶🤣
I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.
Commentary:
Guess I'll start researching new identities and plane tickets just in case! 🚽✈️🤣
Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?
Commentary:
Dr. Pepper: doing more than quenching thirst, possibly inspecting the fizz! 🤔🩺😂
Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.
Commentary:
Siri's trying her best, but she's still in beta on Earth 🤖😅
The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”
Commentary:
When your stomach invents interpretative dance without your permission 😂🤢💃
As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”
Commentary:
When you hear those magical words, it's like finding a comrade in the Procrastination Olympics! 😅📚🙌