Commentary:
Sounds like a superhero movie where the hero forgot to show up! 😂👊🦸♂️
370 Funny ever quotes
I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.
Commentary:
Looks like the aliens chose the ultimate reality TV show to binge-watch: Planet Earth, Self-Destruction Edition! 🤖👽🍿
All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.
Commentary:
As long as the lights are dim and the compliments are plentiful, mission accomplished! 😂🙈💪
Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.
Commentary:
Eyebrow plucking: the ultimate test of male courage! 😂👨🦲🏹
You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?
Commentary:
Absolutely, it's like having a solo karaoke night where the only song is "Silence is Golden" 😂🤐🎤
Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”
Commentary:
When you read a post 3 times and still need a translator to understand it 🤔📚😂
You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?
Commentary:
When life turns into a game of double middle-finger charades 🤨👐🏼😂
Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.
Commentary:
My brain is a Broadway star when I'm trying to sleep – tap dancing through every cringe moment 🕺💤💭😅
Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.
Commentary:
Dreaming of memes so bad, even the Sandman shakes his head 😂😴💤
Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?
Commentary:
Guess we better start stocking up on pepperoni just in case the mosquitoes decide to swap their bloodlust for a slice obsession! 🍕🦟