Commentary:
Getting things done before noon is like performing magic: still requires a wand, but at least you’re awake to wave it! 🧙♂️☕✨
190 Funny everything quotes
I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.
Commentary:
Sounds like the only thing more difficult than a Rubik's Cube solved by a squirrel! 🐿️🗑️
I have thought one billion times about everything.
Commentary:
That's a billion more times than I've ever thought about going for a run! 🏃♂️💭😂
Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.
Commentary:
My brain's a circus and all the clowns want airtime 🤡🎪🎉
I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.
Commentary:
Sounds like my flirting style is more awkward giggles than smooth moves! 😂😅
What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?
Commentary:
A six-star brain running on half a tank! 🤔🤷♂️🤦♀️
Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.
Commentary:
Brain's got the latest software update but the memory chip keeps glitching! 🤯🔄😂
I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.
Commentary:
This remote has more power than my morning coffee! ☕🔀📺
If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.
Commentary:
Looks like gravity hired cats as its enforcement agents! 😹🌍👋
Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?
Commentary:
Starting over at 27? Why not! It's the new trend—like upgrading your phone but with life decisions 📱🔄😂