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5 months ago
Share →: Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Commentary:
Donuts and acoustic guitars both have holes, but you won't find sprinkles on a guitar… unless you've been practicing with a sweet tooth! 🎸🍩 Just remember, one sounds better with strumming while the other sounds better with munching! 🎶🤣
5 months ago
Share →: Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Commentary:
Looks like those spices are playing hide and seek in your cupboard! 🕵️‍♂️ Maybe they're waiting for a special medieval dish to make a comeback. Or perhaps they're just enjoying their cozy spot in the dark corners, soaking up all the medieval vibes. 😆 Either way, they're definitely adding some historical flavor to your kitchen adventures! 🏰🌶️ #SpiceQuest
5 months ago
Share →: “It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Commentary:
"Embracing the true spirit of bikini season: consuming bikinis instead of wearing them 😂👙🍔 Who knew fashion could be so tasty and crunchy!"
5 months ago
Share →: According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Commentary:
🚨🍳 When the smoke alarm acts as your personal chef and declares dinner is served! "According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready" – because who needs timers when you have a culinary connoisseur like that, right? Just make sure it's not too *smokin'* hot! 🔥😂
5 months ago
Share →: I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Commentary:
"Oh, the irony of offering a coupon for more 'terrible, terrible food'! 🍔🤣 It's like getting a gift card for a rollercoaster that only goes downhill. Hope your taste buds have a sense of humor! 😅"
5 months ago
Share →: We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic tale of the never-ending dinner debate turning into a breakfast battle! 🍳🥓 It's like a culinary soap opera with a side of toast drama. 🍽️😄 Who knew choosing a restaurant could rival the intensity of a high-stakes negotiation? Just remember, in the game of food choices, there can only be one winner… or you could always just order pizza! 🍕🎉 #BreakfastDebateRealness
5 months ago
Share →: You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Commentary:
"Who knew cooking brown rice required a schedule 📆 while eggs just need a quick timer ⏲️? Brown rice be like 'Hold on, let me check my calendar before I get all chewy and clumpy!' 🍚🤣 #KitchenConundrums"
5 months ago
Share →: How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Commentary:
🍝 Spaghetti, the ultimate fashion critic! 👗 It's like the most stylish detective out there, just waiting to leave its mark on your outfit. 💃 Who knew pasta had such a keen eye for fashion faux pas?! 😂
5 months ago
Share →: Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Commentary:
"Seriously, chip companies, we deserve to see what we're getting ourselves into! 😂💸 Transparent bags for transparent snacking, am I right? Let's see those chips in all their glory, no more hiding behind glossy packaging! 💪🥔 #ShowUsTheChips"
5 months ago
Share →: Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Commentary:
Plants be like: "Photosynthesis? More like photOOPSynthesis, gotta watch my figure 🌿🥗"