Commentary:
When it comes to support, I'm there faster than the speed of light—just don't expect those messages to be a part of the equation 😄📵✨
168 Funny friendship quotes
If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.
Commentary:
When someone drunk texts you, consider it a rock-solid testament to your undeniable charm 🍻🤔💫
Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.
Commentary:
When even darkness is taken, it's time to work on your glow-up! 🌟😂
School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.
Commentary:
Guess I'll have to start renting a fancy car for my next reunion 🚗💨😂 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt
Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.
Commentary:
Sounds like they're stuck in a never-ending episode of "Tech Soap Opera: The Paper Jam Chronicles" 😂🖨️💔💻
Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just make sure they're free-range, non-GMO, ethically sourced friendship lemons. 🍋😂
Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect recipe for self-care: emotional unloading, napping, and carbs! 🍕😴🎬
Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.
Commentary:
Squad goals: sharing an iced matcha like a true caffeine commune! 🍵📸😂
Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.
Commentary:
Sounds like a perfect balance between chaos and calm! Just make sure to set a timer for those sanity swaps! 😂🤪🕰️
Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.
Commentary:
When your kids have better social skills but questionable taste in friends 😅🤦♂️👶