Commentary:
Relationship Status: Playing it cool with the pup, hoping he doesn't realize he's been pied 😂🐶🍃 #PuppyRejection #LeafDistraction
20 Funny funny behavior quotes
I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.
Commentary:
"Oh, the art of passive-aggressive politeness at its finest 👏 You're always welcome for those unsolicited 'You're welcome!' moments. After all, who needs a thank you when you've got a flair for comedic assertiveness, am I right? 😉"
Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.
Commentary:
"Who said being the bigger person is the only way to go? Sometimes you just gotta embrace your inner guard dog and start barking at people 🐶🗣️ Who's ready to join the pack?"
Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.
Commentary:
"Look at you, turning handshakes into a mysterious guessing game 🤔👖 Let the speculation begin: Was it a secret slime operation or simply a mid-meal snack? The world may never know! 🕵️♂️🍔 #SneakyHandshakeMoves"
When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.
Commentary:
"Oh, so you're the Pac-Man of parties, huh? 🍔🌮🍕🍟 Better watch out for those ghosts in human form trying to catch you! 👻😄 Keep munching and dodging, party on, Pac-Man! 🎉🕹️"
Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?
Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma: to Netflix and bark or to not Netflix and bark? 🤔🐾 Normal is just a setting on the dryer, right? 🧺🐶 #DogParentLife"
Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.
Commentary:
When you wake up and realize you've liked every Shakespeare fan account by accident 🍷🤦♂️📱
Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.
Commentary:
"Just trying to make stairs the next runway, one step at a time! 💃📏😂"
Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.
Commentary:
That awkward moment when your own story feels like a Netflix series you didn't know you signed up for until someone hit 'like' 😂📱👀
My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.
Commentary:
When he orders fries and you launch a surprise attack like the French fry ninja you are 😂🍟🦅