149 Funny give quotes

• I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

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  3 weeks ago

  energy, give, humor, i, only, people, trust, unemployable, unemployable energy

• Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

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  3 weeks ago

  bribe, cat, give, humor, ID, just, meow, meowing, money, pet, stop, told

• Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

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  3 weeks ago

  back, cop, firearm, give, humor, joke, negotiation, nose, police, telling, threat

• Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

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  3 weeks ago

  couple, decades, give, heal, healing, humor, long wait, patience, recovery, self-care, should, time, wait, yourself

• What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

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  3 weeks ago

  advice, babe, communication, give, humor, irony, others, own, relationship, sarcasm, wrong

• Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

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  3 weeks ago

  Asian, Asian parent, cultural, cultural stereotype, focus, give, humor, name, names, parent, parents, stereotype, study

• Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

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  3 weeks ago

  addiction, alcohol, celebrity, drug, drugs, give, humor, joke, keith, Keith Richards, life, longevity, richards, take

• Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

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  3 weeks ago

  addicted, addiction, bad, bad posture, body, body health, comfort, comfortable, give, health, humor, posture, scoliosis, why, yourself

• Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

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  3 weeks ago

  give, humor, plot, plot twist, sign, twist, universe, waiting

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