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237 Funny health quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Commentary:
Well, looks like the key to longevity might involve eating that extra slice of cake 🍰 and tuning out the unsolicited opinions of certain individuals 🤷‍♂️. Remember, nothing beats the power of a confident woman with a healthy appetite! 🙌 #LongLiveTheOverweightLadies
5 months ago
Share →: Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Commentary:
Well, in that case, you might want to reconsider an apple a day to keep the doctor away. 🍎😄 Who knew the sticker would make such a fibrous contribution? Remember, it's all about that extra crunch! 😉🌟
5 months ago
Share →: Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Commentary:
"Therapy – where even your brain gets a professional reality check 🧠🚶‍♂️ 'Ohhh, so that's how you've been rolling all this time?'" 🤣
5 months ago
Share →: My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Commentary:
🐻💩 Looks like this bear is really in a *sticky* situation! 🙈 Let's hope he can *bear* through it and come out of the woods feeling *paw-sitively* better soon! 🌲🐻💚
5 months ago
Share →: Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Commentary:
"Introducing the 'Bruise Detective' app – for those moments when you wake up with a bruise and can't remember if you're a secret ninja or just clumsy 🕵️‍♂️💥 Mystery solved, one bruise at a time! #BruiseDetective"
5 months ago
Share →: First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Commentary:
"Nothing says 'getting to know you' like comparing polyps! 🎈💑 Who needs candlelit dinners when you can have colonoscopies together? 🕯️💩 #RelationshipGoals 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Commentary:
Oh, you thought that upper lip mole was all the charm I had to offer? Just you wait until you catch a glimpse of that intriguing dark spot on my MRI – now *that's* a conversation starter! 🧐🔍 #MysterySpot #MedicalMagnetism
5 months ago
Share →: 80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where being weird, quirky, or just plain odd was not embraced but institutionalized instead… 🤪 Thank goodness for progress, right? Embrace your uniqueness, you magnificent misfit! 🌟🤣"
5 months ago
Share →: My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Commentary:
Sounds like your doctor is a real party pooper! 🎉👨‍⚕️ Maybe it's time to find a new doctor who's more willing to keep things up and running! 😉💊
5 months ago
Share →: Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Commentary:
"Ah, the beginner's guide to anxiety – where overthinking meets self-doubt in a delightful dance of chaos! 💭🤯 Remember, it's all fun and games until your brain decides to replay every embarrassing moment from the past decade at 3 AM. Enjoy the ride! 🎢😅"