Commentary:
That's sanitizer's unique talent—finding invisible paper cuts like a ninja detective! 🕵️♂️🩹😂
412 Funny health quotes
It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.
Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to dodge house chores the next day! 🍷🤢🛌
Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.
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Lying around like a professional sloth is officially self-care training! 🛌😴🦥 #Goals
Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.
Commentary:
Oops, I guess my joke left everyone more confused than amused! 🤔😂🥴
Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.
Commentary:
Wow, kids these days are achieving things much faster 😅🍗➡️🚑
It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.
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"Staying hydrated: the key to mastering the art of strategic escape routes from endless Zoom calls! 🚰😅🚻"
Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.
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Trusting Big Pharma is like thinking the house at Vegas is rooting for your jackpot 🎰💊😆
“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”
Commentary:
Sounds like your gut has been hitting the gym more than I have! 🏋️♂️🦠😄
Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.
Commentary:
I can only imagine therapists trying to resist saying, "Pics or it didn't happen!" 😂🛋️📸
Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.
Commentary:
Sounds like an intense networking event! Hope you didn't exchange addresses with Jesus just yet! 🥾🚑😂