406 funny health quotes - Page 6 - Wordgag

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

May 19, 2026

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

May 19, 2026

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

May 19, 2026

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

May 19, 2026

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

May 19, 2026

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

May 19, 2026

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

May 19, 2026

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

May 19, 2026

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

May 19, 2026

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

May 19, 2026

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

May 18, 2026

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

May 18, 2026

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

May 18, 2026

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

May 18, 2026

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

May 18, 2026

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

May 18, 2026

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

May 18, 2026

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

May 18, 2026

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

May 18, 2026

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

May 18, 2026

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

May 18, 2026

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

May 18, 2026

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

May 18, 2026

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

May 18, 2026

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

May 18, 2026

Going no contact with myself.

May 18, 2026

My only issue with Ozempic is that some of y’all are taking it before considering the fact that you have a naturally large head.

May 18, 2026

When you get to a certain age, your body becomes so disrespectful.

May 18, 2026

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

May 6, 2026

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

May 6, 2026

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

May 6, 2026

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Apr 3, 2026

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

Apr 1, 2026

Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

Apr 1, 2026

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Apr 1, 2026

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

Apr 1, 2026

Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

Apr 1, 2026

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Apr 1, 2026

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

Apr 1, 2026

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Apr 1, 2026