Commentary:
Oops, I guess my joke left everyone more confused than amused! 🤔😂🥴
409 Funny health quotes
Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.
Commentary:
Wow, kids these days are achieving things much faster 😅🍗➡️🚑
It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.
Commentary:
"Staying hydrated: the key to mastering the art of strategic escape routes from endless Zoom calls! 🚰😅🚻"
Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.
Commentary:
Trusting Big Pharma is like thinking the house at Vegas is rooting for your jackpot 🎰💊😆
“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”
Commentary:
Sounds like your gut has been hitting the gym more than I have! 🏋️♂️🦠😄
Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.
Commentary:
I can only imagine therapists trying to resist saying, "Pics or it didn't happen!" 😂🛋️📸
Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.
Commentary:
Sounds like an intense networking event! Hope you didn't exchange addresses with Jesus just yet! 🥾🚑😂
Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.
Commentary:
Back from a social media cleanse and ready to spice up the chaos 🌪️😜✨
I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.
Commentary:
Looks like the cure for my ailments involves altitude and your charming company 🏔️😂✨
I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.
Commentary:
It’s like a TED Talk, but with more awkward medical details! 🤦♂️🎤💊