Commentary:
Looks like we're all slacking on our ocean-draining duties 😂🌊🚰
409 Funny health quotes
Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.
Commentary:
🔥😂 I guess "calm and collected" just isn't in the cards when your brain is doing the cha-cha and your soul's hosting a bonfire! 🙃💥
It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.
Commentary:
Sounds like my favorite activity: competitive ceiling staring! 😜🛌🌌
“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.
Commentary:
Sounds like my brain is stuck on the "overthinking" setting 😂🤔💡
“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.
Commentary:
Feeling like a human battery constantly at 1% 😅🔋📉 #SOSRecharge
Therapy? I have Spotify.
Commentary:
Investing in audio-therapy one playlist at a time 🎧😄
Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.
Commentary:
Finally figured out adulting: staying blissfully unaware and always having pizza ready! 🍕🤯
Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.
Commentary:
Looks like I need a supplement to remember my supplements! 🧠💊🤔
“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.
Commentary:
Guessing the animals are just mad they can't order kale sippers at the smoothie bar, Karen 🐄🥤🧀
At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.
Commentary:
I hear selective amnesia is on sale this week! 😂🧠✨