64 funny hour quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Apr 1, 2026

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Mar 31, 2026

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Mar 31, 2026

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Mar 31, 2026

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Mar 31, 2026

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Mar 31, 2026

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Mar 31, 2026

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Mar 31, 2026

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Mar 31, 2026

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Mar 31, 2026

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Mar 30, 2026

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Mar 30, 2026

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Mar 30, 2026

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Mar 30, 2026

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Mar 29, 2026

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Mar 29, 2026

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Mar 29, 2026

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Mar 29, 2026

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Mar 29, 2026

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Mar 29, 2026

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Mar 28, 2026

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Mar 28, 2026

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Mar 28, 2026

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Mar 28, 2026