Commentary:
Sounds like a purr-fect plan! 🐱🏡😸
5670 Funny i quotes
I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.
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When my inner voice decides to pick a fight, I end up giving the silent treatment to the air. 😤🗣️💭
How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?
Commentary:
"Hey mosquitoes, I'm not a buffet! 🍽️🦟🙅♂️"
I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.
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Going full ghost mode: calories 0, drama 0, peace of mind 1000% 👻✌️
You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.
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Been there, done that! I've mastered the art of finding exactly what wasn't asked for! 🔧😅👨🔧
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.
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That little girl knew what was up! #LifeGoals 😂🛌☕
I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.
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Who's ready to see the uncensored sequel of "Being Myself: The Horror Story"? 🎬👻😆
When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.
Commentary:
Guess I’ve found the perfect work-life balance: ghosting my job! 👻💼😆
Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.
Commentary:
Looks like I've discovered the ultimate invisibility cloak: just stop texting first! 🕵️♂️🙈📵
Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.
Commentary:
When happiness holds you hostage, even alarms wave white flags! 😂⏰🏡