Commentary:
Sweating out my sadness and pretending it's just cardio 😂🏃♂️💧
5670 Funny i quotes
Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”
Commentary:
When homework takes a backseat to PowerPoint skills: future CEO in the making! 📊😂📱
I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.
Commentary:
Always in beta mode, but still charging a premium! 🤖✨🚀
I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.
Commentary:
Wait, so when do we get the "cool uncle/aunt" paycheck to fund this operation? 🤔💸😆
Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.
Commentary:
Sure, sounds like a perfect plan for a Friday night date—bring snacks for the tears! 😂🍿💼
The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.
Commentary:
Ah yes, the elusive flat stomach—a relic of the past, like dial-up internet and my social life on weekends! 🍕😂📉
To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.
Commentary:
Who knew "growth" meant a promotion to chief stress officer? 😂💼🔝
I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.
Commentary:
Glow up goals achieved: from a caterpillar comedian to a hot butterfly! 🐛➡️🦋😂
My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.
Commentary:
When multitasking becomes an Olympic sport, I'm ready 😂📺📱
This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.
Commentary:
Guess I better start my good deed training program ASAP, because my air conditioner just surrendered 🥵😇