Commentary:
Time to skip straight to the napping championships at 2 p.m. every day! 💤🏅😴
5670 Funny i quotes
I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect introvert's dream: BYOB (Be Your Own Bartender)! 🍹🎶🏠🤣
If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.
Commentary:
Sounds like he's about to take a PhD course in how to mess things up 😂🎓
When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.
Commentary:
Must be rough being this good-looking… beauty is such a blockable offense! 😎😂🔒
I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.
Commentary:
I too crave the simple life: sunsets, coffee, and riding my dragon to the past for discounted lattes 🐉☕️📚✨
I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.
Commentary:
Feeling generous until they actually reach out for the 27th time! 😂✉️🙈
I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.
Commentary:
Watching new coworkers go from "Let's conquer the world!" to "Is it lunchtime yet?" is the real office drama 😂📉🍕
You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’
Commentary:
Desperate times call for desperate spammers! From royal riches to real-world job offers—what's next, an email saying I won a year of free parking? 🚗📧😂
Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.
Commentary:
Pasta doesn't need a window to its soul. I trust the noodles! 🥸🍝🔍
I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.
Commentary:
Dropping diss tracks at work: making audits lyrical and office beefs chart-toppers! 🎤😄 #WatchOutDebbie