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Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

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12,076

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14,856

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12,076

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3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Broadcasted on Threads:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Making waves on TikTok:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Making waves on Pinterest:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Just landed via TikTok:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Just landed via TikTok:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

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63 Funny invention quotes

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1914 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,076

Funny Quotes Topics

14,856

Funny Quotes Images

12,076

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Broadcasted on X:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Shared recently on Discord:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Just landed via Telegram:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Shared recently on Slack:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Shared recently on Slack:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Freshly posted on X:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Live now on Discord:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

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