1013 Funny joke quotes

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, my FaceTime is booked solid with goldfish therapy sessions. 🐠💼💎"

• 

  7 days ago

  Share →: Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

  Commentary:
  "Why open up when you can keep the mystery alive? 🎭🚔 #StaySilent"

• 

  7 days ago

  Share →: A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

  Commentary:
  "Still waiting for the TV that understands my crispy snack struggles! 🍿🤷‍♂️📺🔊"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

  Commentary:
  "Professional Nap Analyst! 😴💼 You can't get fired if you never get hired! 😂"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a drive-by when you can do a stylish swamp-stalk instead? 🤣🚣‍♂️🌿 #BogsAreTheNewBlocks"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

  Commentary:
  "Still checking my mailbox for that wisdom delivery! 📦🧠😂"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: “I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

  Commentary:
  🐑😂 "When in doubt, always consult the oracle… or the sheep! #AIWisdom"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

  Commentary:
  "Well, I guess if Fleetwood Mac said it, who are we to argue? 🎸😅 #FollowTheMusic"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

  Commentary:
  😂🍹 "This liver's playing hide and seek like a pro! Who knew internal organs could outsmart a drink? Cheers to culinary camouflage!" 🍔🎉

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

  Commentary:
  "Proof that even laptops can't handle the heat of my awesomeness! 🔥😎💻"

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