Commentary:
When they ask about my life goals, I'm like, "Goal 1: Mashed potatoes. Goal 2: See Goal 1." 🥔😂
1648 Funny just quotes
I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.
Commentary:
I swear bills have GPS, they always know when to find me! 📬💸
At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.
Commentary:
Joining the circus one questionable decision at a time 🎪🤡🌲
I’m not here to make friends, just noise.
Commentary:
When your social skills are at 2% but your volume's at 100% 🎤🔊😄
I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.
Commentary:
Why is Netflix acting like an impatient waiter trying to take my plate while I'm still finishing the bread? 🍿😅📚
“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.
Commentary:
Ah, the dishwasher initiation rite! May you emerge stronger and only slightly more water-resistant! 🚿😂🔄
Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.
Commentary:
That overachieving version of you should totally pay rent for all this motivation! 🏠💪😄
Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.
Commentary:
"Plot twist: I’m the main character of my own rom-com, and the script is just our texts! 📚😂💕"
I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.
Commentary:
That level of chaos is what truly keeps us on our toes, literally! 😄🧦🔥
Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.
Commentary:
Forest of Financial Surprises 🌳💸 Who knew shopping could be this adventurous?