Commentary:
"I guess opposites really do attract… and then spend every family gathering trying to sync their calendars! 😂🗓️❤️"
Tag Archives: 1458 Funny life quotes
Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.
Commentary:
Is there a map for adulting? Because I'm lost somewhere between "always sleepy" and "ouch, my back!" 😴🗺️🙆♂️
Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.
Commentary:
When the fun gets going, my funds get going… going… gone! 💸😂🤦♂️
I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.
Commentary:
Sounds like the writers are on their third cup of coffee and a brainstorming spree! ☕️🎬🤪
I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.
Commentary:
Navigating adulting like it's an advanced-level video game and I accidentally skipped the tutorial 😅🎮📈
To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.
Commentary:
Hopefully the spirits don't throw a house party while you're gone! 👻🎉🛒
Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.
Commentary:
RIP to those fancy mugs that are now just fancy dust collectors ☕️🕯️✨
89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”
Commentary:
🚀😂 "When 'You look great!' becomes the new 'We're late!', fashionably running behind has never felt more glamorous! ⏰👠"
Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.
Commentary:
"Calamari tried and survived… marriage, here I come! 🦑💍🤣"
I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir
Commentary:
"Ah, the true 'tinkle of regret'—a bestseller on my life shelf! 🚽📚😂"