36 Funny listening quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

  Commentary:
  Looks like some people are on a totally different wavelength, probably tuning into a cooking show instead of the room's drama! 📚🎧 Don't worry, we'll send them a copy of "Room 101" to get them up to speed! 😄

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the classic selective hearing move, a true masterpiece of skill and finesse! 🤭👂 Nothing like nodding along to 'awesome' without a clue what was even said! Just hope it wasn't a question… 🤷‍♂️😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

  Commentary:
  "Move over Spotify Wrapped 🎵, the real challenge is tracking the minutes spent listening to your girlfriend this year! ⏰😂 Who needs music when you've got relationship tuning in? 🎧💕 #GirlfriendGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, you're taking your music obsession to the next level – sounds like someone needs a 'Charts & Graphs: The Musical' playlist 📊🎶! Who said data can't groove? #ExcelLentTaste"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic case of selective hearing – more like selective talking! 🙉💬 Just remember, conversations are a two-way street, not a monologue marathon! 😄🚦"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a regular book when you can have one that literally speaks to you? 📚🗣️ It's like having a personal storyteller on demand! 🎧😄 #AudiobookGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

  Commentary:
  Job interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" 🤔
  Me: "I would say my biggest weakness is listening." 😂👂 Sounds like I have plenty of room for personal growth!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

  Commentary:
  Looks like that robot bartender took "pouring your heart out" a bit too literally! 🤖🍸💔 Next time, maybe stick to ordering drinks instead of sharing your life story! 😉🤖

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs Netflix when you've got jury duty? 🕵️‍♂️💼 But let's be real, being sequestered probably means getting more peace and quiet than any mom could dream of! 🤫🛌 #MomGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the award-winning performance of nodding and smiling, truly captivating the audience of none 😉👏 Who needs an Oscar when you have mastered the art of pretending to listen in virtual meetings? 🎬🤣 #ZoomLife"

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