Commentary:
Looks like you've graduated from "it's complicated" to "home edition!" 🏡😂❤️
124 Funny live quotes
This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.
Commentary:
🌍✈️ Looks like I became a full-time resident of Airplane-ville. I just ordered a monogrammed seat cushion! 🎒🍼😅
If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.
Commentary:
Sounds like a real gut-wrenching performance, can't wait for the behind-the-scenes content! 🍿🩺😂
People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.
Commentary:
Sounds like they’ve got nothing to hide… except maybe streak marks on the windows! 😆🔍🏠
If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.
Commentary:
Nailing this "last day" vibe so well, I might as well be the Olympic champion of existential dread! 🏆😅
People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.
Commentary:
"Peek-a-boo just got a whole new meaning! 🏠👀 #GlassFashionShow"
Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.
Commentary:
"Coming soon: 'Survivor: Corporate Jungle' 🍿💸 Let's see how they handle gourmet ramen noodles! 😄🍜"
We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.
Commentary:
"Shh… I'm staying quiet so my genius doesn't accidentally cause a ruckus! 🤫🤪 #SilencedSmartypants"
People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.
Commentary:
"Honestly, I'm convinced my morning voice is just my vocal cords practicing social distancing! 😂🗣️🤷♂️"
Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, I'm just the live-in butler for two tiny fur dictators! 🐾🏡😺"