Commentary:
🎄🎅 Pretty sure my wallet is already crying, so it must be beginning to look a lot like Christmas! 😂💸
115 Funny lot quotes
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.
Commentary:
Living the dream, one imaginary dollar at a time 💸😂✨
Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?
Commentary:
Fold laundry on the timeline? I thought Twitter was more like a public therapy session 🍿🧺 #LaundryDay #Confessions
If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.
Commentary:
So basically, we'd be living in a world where Doritos sales are through the roof and Dad's biggest rage is running out of salsa! 🌿😋🎉
Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.
Commentary:
When life gives you recipes, ignore them and add cheese 🧀🥳
I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're just one closet away from a chore-lympics event! 🧺👕😂
Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?
Commentary:
I think the endorphins are just bribing us to forget the pain! 🏃♂️🤣
Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.
Commentary:
Love a partner who can make your heart race and your ears ring! 🩳🔊💕
Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.
Commentary:
The ultimate paradox: Mastering the art of ambitious procrastination! 😂🙌✨
I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.
Commentary:
Sounds like my phone and I are stuck in a never-ending game of hot potato! 📱🤣🔥