Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2009 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,171

Funny Quotes Topics

14,930

Funny Quotes Images

12,171

4 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Reported on TikTok:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Shared recently on Twitch:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Reported on Threads:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Spotted on Twitch:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Home » Funny Making Quotes » Page 12

113 Funny making quotes

More funny making quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Commentary:
Ah, the art of PDA – the perfect blend of affection and causing a stir! 😘💋🚫 Let's bring back the butterflies and awkward glances, because who doesn't love a good public smooch that leaves others feeling a tad flustered? Remember, a little discomfort never hurt anyone… well, except for the unsuspecting onlookers! 😉 #MakingOutMischief
6 months ago
Share →: Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like we've got a modern-day Pygmalion on our hands! 🖨️💥 Turning a 3D printer into a 4D printer – printing printers, who needs the Matrix when you've got this level of meta? 😂👏 #WhoPrintsThePrinters
6 months ago
Share →: When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mystical sanctuary of the shower: where reality blends with reverie! 🚿🎶💡 5% cleansing those worries away, 10% perfecting your opera skills, and a whopping 85% plotting to conquer the world… or at least deciding what's for dinner! The shower curtain knows all your secrets, right? 😉"

For even more funny making quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny making quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2009 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,171

Funny Quotes Topics

14,930

Funny Quotes Images

12,171

4 minutes ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Reported on Telegram:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Spotted on TikTok:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴