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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

My middle finger salutes you.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Spotted on Slack:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Going viral on Discord:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

30 Funny met quotes

More funny met quotes 👇

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

2 months ago

apology, awkwardness, eye, eye widening, eyes, first meeting, humor, meeting, met, prophecy, sorry, whispering, widening
Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

2 months ago

bartender, baseball, explain, guy, humor, i, just, meeting, met, music, please, situation, social, social situation, trying, turn, works
Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

2 months ago

again, comfort, comfort food, food, gravy, humor, humorist, love, mashed, mashed potat, met, potat, relationship, soulmate, today
I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

2 months ago

celebrity, drama, end, enjoy, event, exaggeration, fashion, gala, humor, i, luxury, met, only, runway, satire, volcano
It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

2 months ago

appearance, bad, carpet, celebrity, event, fashion, gala, humor, ID, insecure, me, met, Met Gala, outfit, red, red carpet, self-deprecating, think
I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

2 months ago

disaster, failure, humor, i, irony, met, never, problem, turn
Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

2 months ago

ever, headache, human, humor, meet, met, personality, version
You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

2 months ago

before, breath, deep, deep breath, dumb, ever, humor, met, responding, someone, take
“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

2 months ago

autism, exist, guy, guys, hardware, hardware store, humor, met, misunderstanding, old, old guy, perception, store, stores, work
Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

2 months ago

connection, friend, friendship, humor, internet, internet friend, met, never, never met, nobody, online, online relationship, relationship, support

For even more funny met quotes, hit next 👇

All funny met quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

86 shares on Threads this month:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

72 shares on Slack this month:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Making waves on Slack:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Making waves on Slack:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Just shared via TikTok:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Trending via X:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Trending via Slack:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Breaking via Reddit:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Activity Log ✨

30 Funny met quotes

More funny met quotes 👇

All funny met quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨