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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

21 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Just shared via Instagram:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Shared recently on Discord:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Reported on Messenger:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Just landed via X:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Just shared via Instagram:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Making waves on Threads:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Home » Funny Mom Quotes » Page 5

42 Funny mom quotes

More funny mom quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mystical realm of Target—where moms become stealthy ninjas, blending into the aisles like undercover agents dodging tiny accomplices 👩‍👧‍👦. Remember, not all heroes wear capes; some rock yoga pants and sip on Starbucks while evading tiny spies in the toy section! 🦸‍♀️🛒 #MomLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Commentary:
"Sounds like someone's throwing some major 'Mom shade'! 💁‍♀️😂 Looks like we've got a secret competitor for the 'Parent of the Year' title! 🏆 #MomVsYou"

For even more funny mom quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny mom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

21 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Trending via Slack:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

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