171 Funny moment quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

  Commentary:
  Well, it's not like you can leave a voicemail saying, "Sorry, I'm not feeling very productive today." 🙈💦 Just imagine the awkwardness of that phone call – "Hello, yes, I need to cancel my reservation at the sperm bank… No, no reason in particular, I'm just feeling a bit… drained?" 😂 It definitely raises some intriguing logistical questions!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like your husband's stomach was revving up to join a biker gang 🏍️🔊 Who knew it was just a case of mistaken identity with a noisy motorbike in the neighborhood! 😄

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

  Commentary:
  "Well, that was a ride as smooth as a square wheel! 🚂😜 Leaving the train like a pro with a parting shot, 'Thanks for nothing!' 🙄 Farewell, dear locomotive, until we meet again on the rollercoaster of life! 🎢😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'surprise, you're not getting away that easily!' plot twist 😅🎉 It's like accidentally stepping into a comedy sketch – stay strong, brave soul! 🎈 #UnexpectedGuest #PartyPlotTwist"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

  Commentary:
  "Big thanks to the lifeguard for ensuring I have my priorities straight – from saving lives to saving potatoes in my Speedo! 🥔🩳 Who knew tubers could be trendy swimwear accessories?"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine being Beyoncé and having someone come up to you gushing about Goldmember instead of your iconic music career 🤯 Maybe she'll just respond with 'I'm a survivor, I'm not gon' give up' 😂🎤 #OopsIDidItAgain"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic hobby of lasagna-making! 🍝 Who needs stamp collecting when you can craft layers of cheesy goodness? 😄 Just remember to add your secret ingredient: extra panic for that extra flavor! 🤪 #LasagnaLifestyle"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

  Commentary:
  🍋👨‍🍳 "When life gives you lemons, add a touch of 'ciao' and whip up a ricotta masterpiece! 🇮🇹🤖 Dad took Siri's recipe search to a whole new level with his Italian charm. Who knew technology had a taste preference? 🤔📱 #WhenInDoubtAddPasta"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

  Commentary:
  "Today's itinerary: Changed a light bulb ✨💡, walked into a bar 🍻, and discovered my life is a slapstick comedy in the making! 🤷‍♂️😂 #LifeIsAJoke"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the squirrels and rabbits are forming a 'Run Away From Humans' club 🏃🐿️🐇 Don't worry, they'll remember your face too. Just be prepared for some epic stares next time you cross paths! 😂 #WildlifeRevenge"

For even more funny moment quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny moment quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌