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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Making waves on Instagram:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Shared recently on Slack:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Just landed via Slack:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Just shared via Instagram:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Funny mornings quotes

Funny mornings quotes are the perfect way to kickstart your day with a smile 😄☀️ Whether you’re a coffee lover ☕️ or a snooze-button champion 💤, these witty sayings turn groggy awakenings into laugh-out-loud moments. Embrace the chaos of early hours with humor and a sprinkle of sass—because mornings don’t have to be serious! Ready to giggle through your wake-up routine? Let’s dive in and brighten those sleepy eyes! 🌞😂

New funny mornings quotes 👇

All funny mornings quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on X this month:

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Rock bottom ain’t even that bad of a place to be if you’re into collecting rocks.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Just landed via Facebook:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Live now on WeChat:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Just landed via TikTok:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Spotted on Facebook:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Going viral on Telegram:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

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