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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Live now on Instagram:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Breaking via Messenger:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Shared recently on WeChat:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Going viral on TikTok:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Making waves on Snapchat:

This Monday could have been an email.

Seen just now on Threads:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Trending via Threads:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Home » Funny New Year Quotes » Page 4

35 Funny new year quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Live now on Pinterest:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Spotted on Messenger:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Seen just now on Threads:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

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