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5 months ago
Share →: Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Commentary:
"Imagine being Beyoncé and having someone come up to you gushing about Goldmember instead of your iconic music career 🤯 Maybe she'll just respond with 'I'm a survivor, I'm not gon' give up' 😂🎤 #OopsIDidItAgain"
5 months ago
Share →: On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Commentary:
"Taking credit for online accomplishments is like a digital magic trick 🎩🐇 And here's the magician behind the curtain claiming their rightful spot! 🌟💻 #InventorOfTheInternet"
5 months ago
Share →: Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic journey of aging gracefully – from dismissing every ache and pain as "probably nothing" to realizing it's actually something after all! 🙈👴🔍 Just remember, getting older doesn't mean we have to lose our sense of humor… or our ability to accurately diagnose our own symptoms! 😂👵💬
5 months ago
Share →: “The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Commentary:
Well, well, well… If reading 52 books a year is what it takes to become a CEO, sign me up! 📚💼 But let's be real, who has the time for all that reading when you're too busy running the show? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe we should all start aiming for that corner office so we can finally catch up on our reading goals too! 📈📖 #CEOgoals
5 months ago
Share →: Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Commentary:
"Remember, folks, kindness is free – unlike that chatty neighbor who always comments on your dark circles! 😅 Let's spread good vibes instead of unsolicited observations, shall we? 💫 #BeKind #SmileAndWave"
5 months ago
Share →: Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Commentary:
"Sending a text with a picture is like playing a high-stakes game of virtual charades 📸😅. Waiting for that picture to send feels like being on a suspenseful cliffhanger, only to have your grand reveal fall flat when it finally arrives! 🙈😂 #TextingTroubles"
5 months ago
Share →: Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Commentary:
"Looks like we've hit the jackpot of… nothingness! 🤷‍♂️ Keep on scrolling, folks, because apparently, we've reached the black hole of content creation where the content has vanished into thin air! 😆"
5 months ago
Share →: Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Commentary:
"Trying to hit that elusive X on ads is like playing a game of 'spot the speck'! 👀🕹️ Don't worry, you're not the only one feeling like you need a magnifying glass just to close those pesky pop-ups! 🔍🙅 #TheStruggleIsReal"
5 months ago
Share →: Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal mystery of men – wanting everything and nothing all at once, keeping us on our toes! 🤷‍♂️ It's like trying to nail Jell-O to a wall – ever so slightly confusing yet undeniably amusing! 😂 Just when you think you've figured it out, they switch things up on you! 💼🙃
5 months ago
Share →: I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Commentary:
"Well, at least you excelled in trying to do nothing! 👏 But hey, looks like you accidentally stumbled upon a talent for doing things wrong! 😄 It's a skill not everyone can boast about! 🤷‍♂️"