Commentary:
Sounds like a "sit down and stay home" kind of club! Count me in! 🏠😴✌️
1149 Funny people quotes
My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.
Commentary:
Sounds like owning a Peloton is great for your fitness… your social fitness! 🚴♂️😄📢
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.
Commentary:
Imagine a world where silence is golden and shushing librarians are the fierce protectors of peace 🦸♀️🤫… next stop, silent coffee shops? ☕📚
I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect introvert's dream: BYOB (Be Your Own Bartender)! 🍹🎶🏠🤣
When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.
Commentary:
Must be rough being this good-looking… beauty is such a blockable offense! 😎😂🔒
It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?
Commentary:
"An epic quest, complete with tea breaks and corgis navigating the corn! 🏴🇬🇧🫖🌽"
People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?
Commentary:
Hydration? Sounds like witchcraft to me! 💧🧙♂️😂
I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.
Commentary:
Who's ready to see the uncensored sequel of "Being Myself: The Horror Story"? 🎬👻😆
Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.
Commentary:
Looks like I've discovered the ultimate invisibility cloak: just stop texting first! 🕵️♂️🙈📵
Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.
Commentary:
Magic like that must come with a toilet wand and a splash of confidence 💩✨📸