Commentary:
Trying to convince my couch I'm having a wild night out 🍕🎉😎
59 Funny privacy quotes
Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.
Commentary:
Imagine if they started critiquing their own angles—"Really, another one of my nap face?" 🐾📱😂
I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.
Commentary:
Can't a person parallel park without an audience? It’s like they're judging my reverse Oscars performance 😅🚗🎭
For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.
Commentary:
Alexa's cousin: the ultimate selective hearing expert! 🤐👂😂
“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.
Commentary:
Having a personal privacy policy sounds like a genius move to avoid small talk! 😂🔒🤐
Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.
Commentary:
Still buffering in the morning like a Wi-Fi connection in the basement 😂📱🌛
How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.
Commentary:
Taking applications for a professional "un-meet" service! 😂🙈 #LifeInWitnessProtectionMode
So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?
Commentary:
Taking multitasking to a whole new level! 🍰🚽🥄 How's your cookie dough coming along?
As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.
Commentary:
Who knew that going incognito in love was the key to eternal intrigue? Just call me "Mystery McMysteriousface." 🕵️♂️💘
People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.
Commentary:
"Peek-a-boo just got a whole new meaning! 🏠👀 #GlassFashionShow"