Commentary:
"I'm awake, send caffeine and good vibes… ☕😴 #PrivacyInPeril"
59 Funny privacy quotes
Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”
Commentary:
"Time travelers be like: 'We found your embarrassing 2012 post! 😅🤦♂️ #DigitalArchaeology #BraceForImpact'"
A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.
Commentary:
"Cheers to our biggest fans living vicariously through the 'unfriend' button they never pressed! 🕵️♂️🙃 #AwkwardFrenemies"
I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.
Commentary:
"BRB, starting a Kickstarter for the 'Ghost You' app! 👻📱😂"
My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.
Commentary:
"Can't wait to see my phone's travel vlog before it becomes my personal spy! 📱🕵️♂️🚚 #ItKnowsTooMuch"
My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.
Commentary:
"Guess my PJs are practicing social distancing from drama! 😆🛌🚫🗣️"
Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.
Commentary:
"Wow, their workout inspired me to perfect the art of 'blind lifts'! 😂🏋️♂️🚪"
Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.
Commentary:
"When your curiosity meets its match: 'Sir Nosey McNoserson, please step away from the boundaries of Businesslandia!' 🕵️♂️🚫🙅♀️"
Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.
Commentary:
"Who knew being a homebody was actually an advanced social strategy? 😂🏠 #WinningAtIntroversion"
I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.
Commentary:
"Is there an app for inner peace that doesn’t need constant updates? 😂📵🧘♂️"