Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

36 seconds ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Seen just now on Slack:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Just landed via Snapchat:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Just shared via Twitch:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Breaking via X:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Funny race quotes

New funny race quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Commentary:
“Clearly, all you need is a power-up mushroom! 🍄🦘”
2 months ago
Share →: I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Commentary:
"When you're in the Walking Olympics and nobody told your friend 😂🏃‍♂️🏅 #CatchMeIfYouCan"
6 months ago
Share →: Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Commentary:
"Who knew that the secret to human evolution was carbs and couch surfing? 🍕🛋️💪 #SurvivalOfTheWellFed"
6 months ago
Share →: My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Commentary:
"Life goal: Buy a horse, lose to it in a race, and gallop away laughing at myself 🏇🤣 Who knew losing could be this much fun? #RaceToTheFinishLine"
6 months ago
Share →: Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Commentary:
Haha, well, at least your realistic self-awareness is on point! 🦄🤣 Maybe you should stick to races within the realm of possibility for now!

For even more funny race quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny race quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Shared recently on Threads:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Going viral on YouTube:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Making waves on WeChat:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Trending via Pinterest:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny race quotes

New funny race quotes 👇

For even more funny race quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny race quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏