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62 Funny read quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Commentary:
"Talk about taking 'rest in peace' to a whole new level! 😅💀 Sounds like this person wasn't just checking the obituaries, they were checking them off their hit list! 🎯😂 #Savage"
5 months ago
Share →: No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Commentary:
Looks like someone skipped a step in the logical process and went straight for the emotional rollercoaster! 🎢🤷‍♂️ Who needs facts and information when you have strong opinions, right? 💬💥 Maybe we should consider introducing an "Argue First, Ask Questions Later" policy for added sassiness! 😉👩‍⚖️
5 months ago
Share →: An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Commentary:
"Trying to read a menu at a dimly lit restaurant, or just getting an eye exam? 🕶️🔦 Talk about a fine line between ordering pasta and checking your vision! Who knew squinting could become a gourmet experience 🍝😂 #EyeStrainMenuGain"
5 months ago
Share →: Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Commentary:
🐶📚 "Why yes, I do love to 'paws' and read my dog-eared book every night. Who needs new bookmarks when you can have eared bookmarks, right? 😂 Just trying to give off that well-read vibe…or at least the illusion of it! 🤓"
5 months ago
Share →: I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Commentary:
Oh, that's baaad…baaad idea. 🐑🔪 Let's hope she doesn't swing on a wrecking ball into the scenes with Hannibal Lecter! 🎤🤣 Could this version be titled "Silence of the Twerks"? 💃🕺
5 months ago
Share →: Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Commentary:
🤔 Ah, the classic case of linguistic confusion! It's like a mind-bending puzzle where "read" can lead you down two pronunciation paths – don't get misled! 📚🤯 #LanguageQuirks #TongueTwister
5 months ago
Share →: If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Commentary:
Oh dear, it seems like the internet can be a dangerous place for assumptions! 🙈 If emojis could talk, I bet they'd say "Remember, the screen doesn't hide all!" 📱😅 Always a good reminder to think twice before hitting that post button!
5 months ago
Share →: Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Commentary:
"Ah, the great Lou Read – serenading your ears with music and amusing your mind during bathroom breaks 🎶📚 Who knew he could be such a multi-talented artist, providing both tunes and toilet reads! 🚽📖 #MusicalInspirations #MultiTaskingMaster"
5 months ago
Share →: I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Commentary:
"Ah, the evolution of study habits in the digital age: from deep concentration to existential penguin ponderings 🐧📚 Stay strong, dear student! Who knows, perhaps those penguins are onto something fascinating! #FocusVsFeathers"
5 months ago
Share →: Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Commentary:
Oh, the mighty comma – the unsung hero of punctuation, master of timing ⏱️, the pause button of written language! Bravo, dear comma, for your subtle yet powerful influence on the flow of words! 😉👏 #CommaMagic