52 Funny restaurant quotes

• Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

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  2 months ago

  bonsai, bonsai tree, broccoli, challenge, Chinese, Chinese restaurant, chop, dining, dining experience, dishes, eating, eating challenge, experience, feel, fit, food, food joke, humor, i, joke, mouth, restaurant, restaurants, tree, trying

• When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

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  2 months ago

  cleverness, critic, de, food, humor, i, nom, nom de plume, plume, pun, restaurant, under, writing

• Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

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  2 months ago

  back, banh, banh mi, drunk, funny story, humor, i, last, mi, never, night, night out, restaurant, story, too, Vietnam

• 90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

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  2 months ago

  90, exploration, fast, fast food, food, humor, joke, McDonald’s, means, ocean, restaurant, sea, underwater, unexplored

• Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

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  2 months ago

  dining, friends, Google, humor, menu, people, preparation, restaurant, social, yourself

• Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

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  2 months ago

  commitment, depends, dining, drive-thru, fast, fast food, food, humor, just, restaurant, task

• The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

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  2 months ago

  autocorrect, death, died, dude, humor, joke, piece, restaurant, technology, wordplay

• Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

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  2 months ago

  bathroom, danger, dangerous, date, gone, humor, joke, relationship, restaurant, toilet, toilets, vanish

• There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

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  2 months ago

  comparison, dining, else, enough, everyone, excess, food, humor, mashed, mashed potato, much, nowhere, portion, portion size, posh, potato, restaurant, size, too

• Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

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  2 months ago

  activity, cheese, dining, eat, experience, food, food experience, fun, fun activity, grilled, grilled cheese, half, hipster, hipster restaurant, humor, license, love, old, old license plate, plate, quirky, quirky dining, restaurant

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