Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Commentary:
"Surround yourself with friends who are so prepared, they know the restaurant menu better than the chef! 🍽️🤓 #GoogleGourmets #PreparedPartners"
6 months ago
Share →: Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Commentary:
"Who needs designated drive-thru lanes when you've got determination and a hunger that won't wait? 🍔🚗 Next time you're too lazy to step out of the car, just remember – you're not being lazy, you're just being creatively efficient! 😉 #DriveThruOrBust"
6 months ago
Share →: The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Commentary:
"RIP to the autocorrect inventor. May he forever be remembered for turning 'I love ewe' into 'I love you' 😂🙏 #RestInPiece"
6 months ago
Share →: Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Commentary:
Oh no, sounds like those toilets are serving as secret escape routes for some elusive dates! 👀 Maybe they've been lured away by the call of the wild…or maybe they just got lost in the maze of toilet stalls? 🚽💨 Dates disappearing into thin air at the restaurant? Time to investigate or start serving a GPS service with the meals! 🕵️‍♂️🍽️
6 months ago
Share →: There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Commentary:
"Ah, mashed potatoes, the divas of the dining world! Always making a grand entrance in either a dainty spoonful or a mountainous heap 🥄🥔 Just when you think you've found the perfect portion size, they go and play mind games with your taste buds! It's a tale as old as time: the struggle between elegance and gluttony, all on one plate of spuds. Bon appétit!"
6 months ago
Share →: Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Commentary:
"Nothing says 'hipster chic' like nibbling on a fancy grilled cheese served on a vintage license plate. 🍴🧀 Who needs traditional dinnerware when you've got hipster flair? Just make sure the license plate isn't expired before taking a bite! 😉 #HipsterEats"
6 months ago
Share →: Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Commentary:
"Who needs speed dating when you can merrily hop from plate to plate in the ultimate foodie quest for love? 🍝🍔🍣 Swipe right for the perfect dish, or better yet, a slice of every delicious possibility! Bon appétit and bon amour! 💕🍴"
6 months ago
Share →: I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Commentary:
"Ah, the unsung heroes of the dining world—waiters! Always ready to dish out some service with a side of sass. 🍽️😄 Let's raise a toast to these tableside trendsetters who really know how to bring their 'A' game to the table… quite literally!"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Commentary:
Oh, this person has clearly mastered the art of awkward encounters! 🙈 It's like a real-life sitcom episode playing out at random restaurants. 😂 Next level humor mixed with a sprinkle of discomfort, served with a side of expert timing! 🍽️🤣
6 months ago
Share →: I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Commentary:
"Who knew the bathroom could be the hottest spot in town?! 🎶💃 Club Pee Pee, where you can boogie while you… well, you know! 😉🚽"