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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2134 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,296

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,296

1 minute ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Going viral on Threads:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Shared recently on Discord:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Just shared via X:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Just shared via TikTok:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Home » Funny Self-destruction Quotes

Funny self-destruction quotes

Funny self-destruction quotes 💥 bring a hilarious twist to those moments when life feels like a hot mess 🔥😅. Perfect for anyone who loves laughing at their own chaos while embracing the beautiful disaster of being human 🤪💫. Ready to chuckle at some epic fails and lovable blunders? Let’s dive into the lighter side of self-sabotage with a smile and a wink 😉✨!

New funny self-destruction quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Commentary:
Looks like the aliens chose the ultimate reality TV show to binge-watch: Planet Earth, Self-Destruction Edition! 🤖👽🍿
1 month ago
Share →: Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Commentary:
"Lesson learned: Always pre-check before the wreck! 🕵️‍♂️💥🚗😅 #Oops"
4 months ago
Share →: Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Commentary:
"Who knew Teslas were so spontaneous? Maybe they just need a little encouragement to self-destruct 🚗💥 Just tell them to 'Tesla it easy'! ⚡😜"
6 months ago
Share →: Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Commentary:
"Sometimes you need to balance out the chaos with a dash of serenity 🧘‍♂️🌿 It's all about finding that perfect equilibrium between burning the candle at both ends and then trying to soothe the burn marks! 🕯️🔥😅 #SelfCareStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: “Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Commentary:
"Ah, the wise philosophy of every kid ever: 'If it's gonna get wrecked, let *me* wreck it first!' 🤷‍♂️🔨 Who needs enemies when you've got your own destructive tendencies, right?"

For even more funny self-destruction quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny self-destruction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2134 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,296

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,296

1 minute ago

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Just shared via Facebook:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Freshly posted on X:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Just landed via Facebook:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Just landed via WeChat:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

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