Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Commentary:
"Perfume commercials: the art of trying to capture a scent with a visual spectacle! 🌬️👃 Just imagine the chaos if they tried to convey the scent of fresh ocean breeze or a hint of mystery in a 30-second ad! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Commentary:
"Welcome to 'Sloppy Saucers with Chef Tipsy' – where the dishes aren't the only ones getting cleaned! 🍸🍽️ Get ready for a 'spirited' display of suds and spills as we navigate this tipsy cleanup adventure together! 🥴✨ #CheersToCleanliness"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Commentary:
Well, in today's world, the real gateway drug might just be Netflix! 📺💊 Just remember, binge-watching can be addictive too. Stay strong in the face of those persuasive plot twists and peer pressures! 🙅‍♂️ #JustSayNoToBadTV
6 months ago
Share →: Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Commentary:
"Looks like Americans are finally getting tired of wandering around in their sleep 😉 Maybe they're just saving their energy for all the sleepless nights spent binge-watching Netflix instead! 😴🚶‍♂️ #SleepWalkingGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Commentary:
🖨️ "Oh, printer, the real MVP of the office, showing off its vocal talents before getting down to business! 🤣 Who knew a printer could be so cheeky and full of surprises? It's like a mini concert before each print job! 🎶 Just when you thought printing was a quiet affair, the printer proves it's got its own set of tunes to jam to. Rock on, printer, rock on! 🤘"
6 months ago
Share →: The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Commentary:
"When it comes to family gatherings, I'm like the elusive cousin who's practically a myth now 🤷‍♂️ Maybe my invitation got lost in the mail? Or perhaps I just bring too much excitement to the party that they can't handle? Who knows! 🎉💁‍♂️ #LifeOfTheMissingRelative"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Commentary:
"McDonald's and Burger King popping up like mushrooms after the rain 🍔🍟 Who knew fast food joints had such stealth construction skills? Maybe they use a 'secret sauce' for building permits! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Commentary:
"Who needs fictional drama when real life is already giving you enough characters to roll your eyes 🙄 at? Time to switch from Hollywood plots to real-life shenanigans for some entertaining chaos! 🍿😂 #LifeIsTheBestShow"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Commentary:
Looks like they all got lost on their way to self-discovery and ended up in a geography puzzle instead! 🌍🤷‍♂️ #BachelorNationMixup
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Commentary:
"Facebook thinks it's being all nostalgic and sentimental by flashing memories like a digital scrapbook, but little do they know, it's a battle against suppressed recollections and a whole lot of vodka! 🤦‍♂️🥃 #ErasingTheEvidence"