214 funny stress quotes - Page 4 - Wordgag

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

May 26, 2026

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

May 26, 2026

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

May 26, 2026

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

May 25, 2026

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

May 25, 2026

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

May 25, 2026

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

May 25, 2026

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

May 25, 2026

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

May 25, 2026

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

May 25, 2026

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

May 25, 2026

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

May 25, 2026

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

May 25, 2026

Breaking news is really breaking me.

May 25, 2026

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

May 25, 2026

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

May 24, 2026

I miss when bills were none of my business.

May 24, 2026

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

May 24, 2026

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

May 24, 2026

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

May 24, 2026

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

May 24, 2026

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

May 24, 2026

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

May 24, 2026

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

May 24, 2026

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

May 24, 2026

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

May 24, 2026

I hope this email kills us both.

May 24, 2026

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

May 24, 2026

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

May 24, 2026

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

May 24, 2026

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

May 24, 2026

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

May 24, 2026

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

May 24, 2026

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

May 24, 2026

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

May 23, 2026

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

May 23, 2026

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

May 23, 2026

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

May 23, 2026

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

May 23, 2026

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

May 23, 2026