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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

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10,952

Updated

27 minutes ago

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3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Shared recently on Threads:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Trending via Facebook:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Spotted on YouTube:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Trending via Instagram:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Going viral on Threads:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Trending via Pinterest:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Just shared via YouTube:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Seen just now on Discord:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Reported on Snapchat:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Making waves on TikTok:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Just shared via Instagram:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Trending via Messenger:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

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