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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Trending via Telegram:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Going viral on Slack:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Shared recently on Threads:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Just shared via Slack:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Broadcasted on X:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Going viral on YouTube:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Funny vaping quotes

Funny vaping quotes bring a puff of laughter to every vape session 😄💨 Whether you’re cloud chasing or just enjoying a chill vape break, these witty lines add flavor to the fun 🍭🔥 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even share a clever vape joke with your crew! Vape on and keep the good vibes rolling 🚀😎

New funny vaping quotes 👇

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

0

2 months ago

always, cherry, dumb, health, health risk, humor, kazoo, lead, lead poisoning, looks, poisoning, risk, sarcastic, smoking, top, vaping
Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

0

2 months ago

cool, feel, feeling, humor, irony, smoking, vaping, want
Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

0

2 months ago

hit, humor, joke, modern, modern humor, tech, tech joke, technology, vape, vaping
In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

0

2 months ago

addiction, advice, alternative, case, funny advice, harmonica, humor, ID, music, quit, suggestion, vaping
It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

0

2 months ago

fog, funny observation, humor, joke, observation, outside, stop, vaping, visibility, weather
Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

0

2 months ago

attraction, behavior, drive, health, humor, just, people, perception, relationships, sex, sex drive, smoking, social, social behavior, vaping
Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

0

4 months ago

addiction, better, comparison, health, humor, media, phone, smoking, technology, television, vaping, vs

All funny vaping quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Facebook this month:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

51 shares on Threads this month:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,636

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Just shared via Snapchat:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Going viral on Messenger:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Spotted on WeChat:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Trending via X:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

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