Commentary:
Oh, the universal truth of manhood: "Shake it off and walk it off" is basically a lifestyle! 😂💪 #MenDontBruise #InvisibleInjuries
132 Funny well quotes
In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.
Commentary:
Doing life like it's a talent show, but the judges are imaginary. 🎤👀🙈
“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.
Commentary:
Is it time for an excavation or am I just digging myself into a philosophical hole? 🕳️🔍😂
Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.
Commentary:
🔥😂 I guess "calm and collected" just isn't in the cards when your brain is doing the cha-cha and your soul's hosting a bonfire! 🙃💥
They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.
Commentary:
Cake for president, because if we're going to ignore our problems, we might as well do it deliciously! 🍰😄
People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.
Commentary:
Guess I'll be fabulously misunderstood in head-to-toe black 😎🖤✨
Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.
Commentary:
Even my cat's hairball incidents get a heartfelt "Sorry!" 😂🙈
Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.
Commentary:
Just waiting for the elevator to reach the "Next Time, Press the Close Door Button Faster" floor 😂🚪🕴️
What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?
Commentary:
When life hands you sweaty kids, pour yourself a glass and call it ‘Parenting Pinot’ 🍷😅
My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.
Commentary:
Planning for an epic world trip… around the block! ✈️🌍 Back by dinner! 🍕😄