Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,274

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Imagine being social on social media.

Trending via Pinterest:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Just shared via Telegram:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Just landed via Facebook:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Broadcasted on WeChat:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Breaking via Slack:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Money that comes without asking is like finding fries at the bottom of the bag 🍟💸 So unexpected, so seductive! 😄

ask, attraction, flirting, getting, gift, humor, money, payment, sent, sexy, surprise, unexpected

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

0

2 months ago

activity, catch, catch up, humor, i, irony, jail, need, reading, time
Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, know, mad, sarcasm, thanks, tone, writing
You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

0

1 month ago

acting, acting up, before, Christmas, claus, disbelief, holiday, mischief, right, Santa, Santa Claus, town
“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

0

2 months ago

exhaustion, humor, long week, me, relatable, sarcasm, Tuesday, week, weekday
My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

0

2 months ago

bartender, business, humor, interaction, me, mind, privacy, rest, social, social interaction, trauma
Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

0

3 months ago

casual, humor, independence, lifestyle, living, living solo, optional, pants, snack, snacks, solo, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

22 shares on Instagram this month:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

84 shares on Discord this month:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

97 shares on TikTok this month:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

80 shares on X this month:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

19 shares on X this month:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

59 shares on Threads this month:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Seen just now on Facebook:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Making waves on Messenger:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Going viral on Messenger:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Trending via Twitch:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨