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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Trending via Pinterest:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Trending via Pinterest:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Just landed via YouTube:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Breaking via TikTok:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Just landed via TikTok:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Money that comes without asking is like finding fries at the bottom of the bag 🍟💸 So unexpected, so seductive! 😄

ask, attraction, flirting, getting, gift, humor, money, payment, sent, sexy, surprise, unexpected

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Salary week, but salary weak.

0

4 months ago

humor, money, paycheck, pun, salary, week
Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

0

3 months ago

anxiety, career, day, health, hitting, hour, hours, mental, mental health, random, random hour, stress, work, work worry, worry
The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, bro, daily, daily grind, else, expectations, frustration, grind, humor, i, know, me, question, response, say, want, work, workplace
As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, drink, drunk, fishing, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, party, perspective, still
The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

0

3 weeks ago

condition, connection, exhaustion, fatigue, humor, independence, large, life, modern, modern life, network, observation, own, people, self-reliance, social, social connection, support, support network, things, time, tired, trying, why, wondering
Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

0

2 months ago

adulting, clean, cleaning, drink, fridge, going, humor, need, procrastination, responsible, thing, wine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Slack this month:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

27 shares on Discord this month:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

87 shares on Slack this month:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Shared recently on Telegram:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Back to the Future and chill?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Breaking via YouTube:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Spotted on Facebook:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Just shared via X:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Salary week, but salary weak.

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨